i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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