Duck Duck Cougar?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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