So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
