my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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