this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
