I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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