You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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