This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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