I cockslap morals
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize