btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize