my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
