She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
