his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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