i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
