You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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