at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
