I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
