so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
