I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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