we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I intend to get homeless drunk
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It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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