You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He shit in the fireplace
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
