So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
