Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
