That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
