i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize