Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
