He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
