You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
