I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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