Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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