i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
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the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
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Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch