wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
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It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
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Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner