we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?