Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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