she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed