I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?