What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.