beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.