'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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