Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
