seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize