i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
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No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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