i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
