i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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