He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm sobbing to NWA
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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