When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
vagina is talking i cant
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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