yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
