i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
