My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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