just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize