so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
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I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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