walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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