May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize