Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
