Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
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WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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