I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
