Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
