So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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