You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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