toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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