i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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