You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
