Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
